Who are you playing for?
by RedHatMeg
Summary: After the first violin concert between Sherlock and Eurus, Mycroft comes to the conclusion it shall be his last. From now on, he just observes their interactions from safe distance. However, one day Sherlock starts to play a song that intrigues Eurus and - subsequently - Mycroft. Who is he playing for?


**This is me getting my post-confrontation scene fix and mixing it with an old idea of mine.**

 **Please review!**

 **Who are you playing for?**

After the first violin concert between his siblings, Mycroft felt that he won't be able to take any more of them. Sure, Sherlock and Eurus were playing beautifully and for a moment Mummy and Daddy seemed to be too preoccupied by music to shoot daggers at his eldest son for what he has done… but everything else about this visit was reminding him what happened not so long time ago; and that he was _this_ close to be disowned by his parents.

Mummy and Daddy were still angry with him. He didn't blame them, they've made their case very clear. Nevertheless, he has fallen out of grace and he wasn't sure if he was ever going to fall back. When they were speaking to him, there was this coldness in their eyes and tone, far worse than any scolding they had ever given him. And when they weren't talking to him, there was still this tension, this horrible, _horrible_ tension that was making hard for him to be in the same room as his parents, not to mention – near them.

But probably the hardest part of this anger was that his siblings were compared to him and in this comparison Mycroft was losing. Sherlock was a good son, Eurus was a long lost daughter brought back to them. And now they were all a big happy family! How wonderful! The only problem was him, apparently the black sheep of Holmes family. The one that betrayed them so horribly.

He tried not to show how much being in Sherrinford again was disturbing him. How every corner was reminding him about the recent horrors. Especially Eurus' cell, the cell he spent countless hours with a body of dead governor; not knowing what was happening to Sherlock and doctor Watson. And now he was once again standing next to this cell and no matter how hard he tried to focus on here and now, his mind was bringing up the flashbacks of that dreadful day.

And Eurus was once again in her cell, but this time Mycroft felt even more unsettled being in the same room as her. Because she had already escaped once; she had already managed to break him and she almost broke Sherlock, and Mycroft would much rather preferred to never see her again…

Sherlock seemed to notice his brother's distress and offered a distraction.

"Say, Mycroft," He began, tuning the violin. "how's the diet?"

Mycroft gave him an annoyed look.

"Fine." He said. "How about you, brother dear? Still driving Scotland Yard mad?"

"Not my fault they don't have good cases." Sherlock replied.

"You can lower your standards." Mycroft argued.

"Like you with Diogenes Club's whisky?" His brother retorted.

It seemed to work. Mycroft was too annoyed and too preoccupied by sarcastic banter with Sherlock, to pay much attention to the nagging reminder in the back of his head that _this was where the nightmare has begun_.

But alas this short moment of normality had to come to an end, because Sherlock finished tuning the violin. He gave Mycroft one last look – a soft, reassuring look – and said:

"Leave it to me."

And so Mycroft sat on the bench prepared specifically for Holmes family for this unusual recital. Soon his parents did it too. Mummy decided to take a seat next to Mycroft. She shot him one last cold glance, before she went back to observing her younger children.

The concert began. And it was marvelous.

Sherlock and Eurus were filling the cold cell with beautiful music, not averting their eyes from each other. Eurus even smiled to her brother and this smile didn't seem wicked at all. But all throughout their performance, Mycroft just couldn't stop thinking about what happened here and what his sister was capable of. The sheer fact that someone like her was able to create such moving music while also bring so much pain… it was a paradox. And in the back of his head, Mycroft was wondering if Eurus wasn't in the middle of some kind of plan to gain her family's trust and then use it in another sick game. No matter how much he wished for this to be a new beginning, he just couldn't let his guard down around her.

Suddenly Mummy put her hand on his. Surprised by this gesture of affection, he looked at her. She was smiling, so he smiled back, before returning to his siblings. But the hand stayed, and he wondered if this was an act of forgiveness; or if she just felt that oh, look, all my children are in one place, how exciting! We can be family once again! He suspected the latter, but the former could be a part of this feeling.

Maybe he should be happy about it… but he wasn't. He didn't feel the same as she. This whole situation was unpleasant for him (putting it mildly) and he would much rather be far away from this island and from everyone in this room. In fact, his mother's hand seemed to be oddly heavy and he pulled out his own hand almost immediately, causing Mummy to raise her eyebrow. Their eyes met and Mycroft could feel he made a mistake. She was staring at him with disappointed look for about ten seconds, before she went back to watching this concert.

When they've finished, Mummy and Daddy tried to talk to Eurus… tell her they love her and they missed her. But she barely acknowledged their presence. For her there was only Sherlock, a long lost violin partner. And even if their parents noticed it, they still tried to convey all their feelings through words.

Mycroft couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand being in one room with sister who not long time ago tried to kill him; and with parents who considered him a heartless monster. It was suffocating in there, so he told his family he had something to discuss with security, and he left the room to take couple of deep breaths in the corridor. While leaving, he noticed a concerned look on Sherlock's face and it made him want to get out of there even more.

And it was back then, in this corridor, that he realized he couldn't do it. He couldn't come here every time Sherlock wished to play with Eurus and their parents wished to listen. He couldn't just sit in the same place where governor killed himself, and pretend that what took place on this island, didn't happen. It was far easier in London, when he could hush his demons with work and a whole world that seemed to go around just fine. Of course, some part of him was informing him that he should take a hold of himself and be here anyway – after all, who else was going to keep an eye on Eurus?

But he failed last time. So was it even making difference anymore? And maybe Sherlock really will make everything better. He will keep Eurus satisfied, while in the same time keeping her at bay. Maybe, in the end, Mycroft wasn't needed. This thought was both sad and strangely comforting. Yes, he wasn't needed, so he could finally rest… He wasn't needed, so nobody should expect from him to come here and supervise the whole visit if he didn't want to. He wasn't needed, so he could let go of playing the dutiful son.

And so Mycroft decided that this will be his last visit here. From now on someone else will have to look for any kind of odd behavior from his sister. After all, guards and scientists were here for a reason… and he had more pressing matters to attend to, anyway.

* * *

For the next couple of months Mycroft was just doing his job. In fact, he was downright avoiding his family. Whenever Sherlock tried to get him into meeting with their parents somewhere in the city, Mycroft was declining, using his work as an excuse. Of course, Sherlock wanted to hear none of it.

"You've always had time whenever Mummy and Daddy wanted to go out with us."

"Well," Mycroft looked at his brother from the file he was reading. "back then they actually wanted to see me."

Sherlock raised his chin and started to observe his brother.

"I know Mummy said many harsh things…"

"I'm long past craving for parents' approval." Mycroft cut in. "Besides, it's a lost cause anyway."

"Mycroft, don't do this." Sherlock exhaled.

"Don't do what?" The older Holmes asked, interlining his hands.

"Don't cut away from them." His brother explained. "They're very concerned about you."

Mycroft took one, long glance at him, trying to deduce whenever he was telling the truth or not. Even though, Sherlock himself pretended that he came here only to make him go with their parents on another musical, there were signs that he was the one concerned about his brother. Ever since Sherrinford Sherlock was visiting him in his office from time to time, supposedly to check if there was some new cases, while in fact he was deducing from Mycroft's appearance if he was sleeping and eating well; and every time when younger Holmes was visiting, he was asking Anthea about his brother. The detective even broke into government official's house once or twice during a night and refused to leave until down, presumably to keep him company.

"Tell me, brother mine," Mycroft began, giving him fake smile. "if they're so concerned about my wellbeing, then how come you're here and not them?"

"Maybe because when Mummy reached your hand during our last visit in Sherrinford, you pulled away. And she and Daddy think that you're angry with them."

"Brother dear," Mycroft leaned on his armchair. "our parents called me only once, just to know when it is possible to arrange another visit in Sherrinford. Not to mention that ever since this fateful confrontation, they didn't visit me once. It's obvious I'm only someone who can make them see their freshly returned daughter. It is you, who's concerned about me and who wants our family to be reconciled, and even though, I'm very touched by your sudden care, please, don't lie on our parents' behalf."

"And how do you know they just don't know how to approach you? Maybe they're scared that you don't want to talk with them and they've sent me as a mediator."

"And I guess you regularly inform them about what you've found out about me from every visit here? Because I can't, for the life of me, remember any instance when they actually asked me how I feel."

"That's because they know, you won't tell them and probably get angry, because they've asked."

"Sherlock," Mycroft gave a soft sigh. "you and I both know that they still consider me a family traitor for lying to them. Neither one of them want to have anything to do with me, so why don't you save yourself trouble and leave this? If they ever would like to talk this out, they can always come here. Until then, they shouldn't treat you like their errant boy."

Of course, Sherlock wasn't planning to leave it like this. He was coming every time their parents were in town and he was trying to persuade his brother to see them. Interestingly enough, he wasn't asking Mycroft to come to Sherrinford. He probably understood from this first visit that his elder sibling couldn't stand being there for long; that Mycroft's mind was reminding him about the horror he went through. And Sherlock didn't want him to relive his trauma.

There were times when Mycroft felt guilty, leaving him there. After all, Sherlock had his fair share of traumatic experiences in Sherrinford. But at least he wasn't completely alone. He was with their parents; and he could rely on John Watson's support.

Besides – as much as Mycroft didn't want to actually go there – he couldn't just leave Sherrinford be. Not after last time, when Eurus managed to manipulate everybody right under his nose. So he installed special monitoring so his outside agents could keep an eye on her. He himself was watching transmissions from Sherlock's visits, just to see if Eurus was planning something. He quickly discovered that watching her from his office was far easier, even if she still crept him out.

After about two months Sherlock seemed to realize that asking Mycroft to talk with their parents was futile, because he stopped it completely. It could also be because they all had a new puzzle on their minds – Eurus finally started to speak.

It happened during one of their recitals. Sherlock started to play a deeply melancholic piece. Eurus joined him and from the moment she did, it was clear none of them were improvising – it was a tune they both knew. They didn't play it earlier and they didn't share notes, so none of them composed it. Mycroft quickly come to conclusion that it was an already existing music.

And after about one minute of their performance, Eurus suddenly put her violin down and asked:

"Which part are you playing now?"

Their parents moved from their seats, Mycroft also raised his eyebrows in astonishment, feeling cold sweat on his forehead. Only Sherlock seemed to be indifferent about what just happened. He kept playing, but replied:

"Does it matter?"

"This song has two verses. Each is sung to different person. Who are you playing for, brother mine?" Eurus inquired further.

"For you, of course." Sherlock didn't move his eyes from her. "While I'm here, I'm always playing for you."

She didn't say anything to that. She was only observing him intensively, before she came back to playing alongside with her brother. They've finished the piece and only then their parents started to ask her questions: _How did she feel? Did she remember them? Did she need anything?_ But she came back to being silent. Before Mummy and Daddy could ask another questions, she started another song and Sherlock joined her. For the rest of the visit she was communicating with them just like before – through music.

All three members of her family bid her goodbye and left. Mummy and Daddy were, of course, euphoric. Sherlock didn't say anything, but Mycroft suspected that this sudden turn of events intrigued his brother. He himself was concerned. Talking Eurus was dangerous. She could easily go back to manipulating people.

But to his surprise she didn't speak to anybody. Both his agents and he himself noticed that she remained silent. She wasn't replying to what staff was saying to her, and she didn't even try to talk to them unasked. It was unnerving, really. Mycroft was worried that she already was planning something.

Soon she spoke again. It was no surprise to him that she did, when Sherlock visited her again. What _was_ surprising, was that he played the same piece as before, and so Eurus asked the same question like the first time:

"Who are you playing for?"

And Sherlock – just like earlier – replied:

"For you. I always play for you."

"I don't think you're telling the truth."

"It's not important, sister dear."

It was happening during each new visit. Sherlock was playing this song, Eurus was asking, who he was playing for, and he was giving the same answer: "For you." But she kept doubting his words and, frankly, so did Mycroft. It was obvious that his brother had a purpose in this charade and it was likely to engage Eurus in some kind of game. Mycroft could, of course, tell his agents to find out what's the title of the song and analyze it, but some boyish part of him decided that it would be far more interesting to see what conclusions his sister will come up to.

* * *

It was probably the fourth or fifth visit. This time there was no Mummy and Daddy.

"Who are you playing for?" Eurus asked as usual and got the usual answer:

"For you. I've told you many times."

"This song is a duet." She retorted. "Tell me which part are you?"

"If I tell you, you will be the other part?"

"No. Then I will be certain."

"Certain of what?" Sherlock inquired.

"Who are you _really_ playing for."

Mycroft frowned. They've started to play the melody again and suddenly Eurus began to sing. Her voice was surprisingly pretty, nevertheless, it was the lyrics that caught Mycroft's – and everyone else's – attention.

 _How can I repay you, brother mine?_

 _How can I expect you to forgive?_

 _Clinging to the past, I shed our blood_

 _And shattered your chance to live._

Mycroft didn't move from his position at the monitor. He did, however, turned the volume up to hear better the words coming from his sister's mouth.

 _Though I knew the laws, I paid no heed_

 _How can I return your wasted breath?_

 _What I did not know has cost you dear,_

 _For there is no cure for death…_

Was this supposed to be about him? He didn't think that his siblings made this song just about him. Still, when he heard the first few lines, he couldn't help but think that it was an allusion to his own actions.

"A bit overdramatic, don't you think?" Eurus stopped singing, but was still playing. "But you must admit that the lyrics suit someone we both know."

"I wouldn't say that." Sherlock replied.

"Well, not _all_ of it, of course, but this part sums him up perfectly…" And she sung:

 _And how can I make amends_

 _For all that I took from you?_

 _I led you with hopeless dreams_

 _My brother, I was a fool..._

Mycroft frowned again. She was mocking him.

She put the violin down, Sherlock did too, and they both looked at each other.

"The first verse is Edward apologizing to Alphonse. Older brother confessing his mistakes to the younger." Eurus explained. "If you're playing the first verse, then you're playing it for me and you feel sorry for not helping me sooner. However…" She started play and sing again:

 _Don't cry for the past now, brother mine_

 _Neither you nor I are free from blame_

 _Nothing can erase the things we did_

 _For the path we took was the same…_

She stopped playing and looked at Sherlock once again.

"The second verse is Alphonse forgiving Edward. Younger brother telling the older he doesn't blame him for what happened. Unfortunately English version cut the second verse short… Nevertheless, if you're playing the second part, then you're playing it for someone else. Hmm…" She delicately tapped her chin with the bow of her Stradivarius. "If that's the case, who can it be?" Eurus started to pace around her cell. "Who do you play for, brother mine? Who do you want to reach? And why?"

"I'm sure, you already know the answer." Sherlock replied, his eyes following his sister.

"Oh, yes, it's not a secret. The song itself provides the answer. But let me have fun a little longer. Someone, who isn't here, nor on this island. Someone who after our little adventure visited me only once and has not been here ever since. But it also is someone who can hear us… at least you hope that he can." She stopped in the middle of her cell and turned to Sherlock and suddenly her face changed into more serious as she hissed: "You're not playing for me, brother dear. You're playing for Mycroft."

Mycroft's eyes widened. Sherlock was playing for _him_? But why? Mycroft felt oddly warm inside. Oh, Sherlock…

Eurus, on the other hand, was still… unhappy with the latest revelation.

"Why do you play for _him_ and not for _me_? You said it yourself: while you're here, you're playing for me. So why? Why do you want to reach him now?"

Mycroft was asking himself the same questions. Why, Sherlock? What were you trying to convey through this song?

Also older Holmes brother was worried that Eurus may do something soon. Please, Sherlock, be careful with her…

But all of a sudden Eurus' expression changed into more lighthearted, as she exclaimed with enthusiasm:

"Oh, I know! It's because his last visit here was also the last time he was with Mummy and Daddy in one room."

Mycroft bit his lip, but then gave a cheerless chuckle. Of course… Lately Sherlock wanted to talk with him only about their parents. This elaborate plan was just another way of trying to persuade Mycroft to meet with them.

"I always wondered what they've said to him, when they found out about me." She went on. "Care to tell me?"

"Nope." Sherlock replied. "It's none of your business."

"I presume it was something really nasty. Mummy always liked to put him in his place, especially when he was saying mean things about me. So I imagine that right now brother dearest is estranged with them. But you don't like it, not one a bit. You want all of us to get along… And you feel guilty, because you were always such a lousy little brother… So considering all of this, I believe that there is only one reason you were playing this song…" She suddenly cut off and smiled to her brother. "But is it true? Is it really true?"

"And what do you think it is, sister dear?"

Eurus took couple of steps forward and stood right in front of the glass separating her from the rest of the world.

"You wanted to tell brother dear," She began. "that he is forgiven."

Mycroft sighed.

"Oh, Sherlock…" He told his brother, even though he knew Sherlock couldn't hear him. "You know it's not that simple…"

"That too, yes." Sherlock said.

"So there is more?" Eurus smirked. "Well then, I guess, you wanted to go a bit sentimental with Mister 'Caring Is Not In Advantage'."

"You said it yourself: I feel guilty."

"Oh, I see." Eurus smiled even wider. "You're not just Alphonse _or_ Edward. You're _both_. You both give forgiveness and ask for it."

"Pretty much." Sherlock gave her a weak smile.

Mycroft was concerned that Eurus might start her manipulations from there. He reached for the cell phone and sent a text message to Sherrinford to be ready to take Sherlock out of Eurus' cell. But he wasn't giving a signal for intervention yet.

"Something tells me," Eurus started. "that your latest sin against him isn't you pointing gun at him. In fact," She cocked his head on the side. "I think that you feel guilty because you didn't defend him enough against Mummy and Daddy."

Mycroft raised his eyes and a memory flashed before them – Sherlock sitting across the room, observing in silence how their parents were scolding his brother. Back then Mycroft thought he could use Sherlock's input, but he knew all too well how their parents worked on them. Neither one of Holmes brothers was strong enough to face Mummy and Daddy for long. They both always felt like children around them. Nevertheless, Sherlock tried…

 _He did his best._

These four words seemed to came out of nowhere and even though they didn't do much, for a moment, for a split second, Mycroft was grateful that he wasn't alone. It was still too weak.

"So you're playing a serenade in hope that big brother will hear you and find out how you feel." Eurus concluded and Mycroft's eyes returned to her. "He will probably think, you're an idiot."

"He already thinks that." Sherlock grinned. Suddenly he became serious. "By the way," He put the violin under his chin. "there is one last line of this song. A line that is sung by both Edward and Alphonse." He started to play and after couple of seconds the cell was filled with his baritone voice:

 _So, where do we go from here?_

 _And how to forget and forgive?_

 _What's gone is forever lost_

 _Now, all we can do is live..._

Mycroft couldn't help but smile, even if his smile was sad. Yes, they will never get back all that was lost, but the world was moving on, and at some point they would have to do it too. They would also have to get used to the changes in their lives.

Maybe even someday he would be able to visit Sherrinford. Maybe someday he will be able to face his parents and not feel like a leprous.

"But next time you're playing only for me." Eurus told Sherlock, when he started putting the violin into the case. "You're here to see _me_ , so you shouldn't think about anything else but _me_."

"I will keep that in mind." Sherlock retorted, but it seemed that he was quite indifferent about what she just said. "Goodbye, sister dear."

Long after Sherlock left the cell, Mycroft was sitting at his desk and thinking about the conversation that took place there. When he was sure that Sherlock was near enough London to have cell phone connection, he sent him a text:

' _Next time just call me. Like normal person.'_

A couple seconds later he received a reply:

' _We don't do normal in this family. Haven't you noticed, brother mine?'_

* * *

 **The song is, of course, _Brothers_ , performed by Vic Migniona. But first you should find beautiful violin cover by Taylor Davis.**

 **Fun fact: I've once used this song as a plot point to a _Sherlock_ fanfiction. It was titled _Pękający lód_ ( _Cracking ice_ ) and was about Mycroft, on the one hand, mourning Sherlock after _Reichbach's Fall_ ; and the other hand - receiving anonymous messages implying he committed fratricide. One of those messages is a tape with first verse of _Brothers_ mixed with the refrain from _Stayin' Alive_.**


End file.
